Apparently I'm supposed to do some sort of list of five random weird things about myself. Here it goes:

1.  Sometimes I like to pretend like there are little worker men inside my body that are making it work.  For example, inside my brain everybody sits at desks with supercomputers and wears glasses and lab coats, and they drink coffee.  And my white blood cells are guys in white round space ships that fight off germs and infections with lasers, and the germs look like a mix between the predator and the slimy bad guys from the power rangers movie.

2.  When I talk to myself, I do it in a british accent for no reason.  It makes the advice I give myself sound wiser.

3.  I usually can't leave the house without making sure every single light is turned off.

4.  I watched the antiques roadshow the other day and liked it.

5.  I almost cried at the end of King Kong.  Almost!

I tag:  Steven Segall,  Bert from Sesame Street (and not Ernie), Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds, Will Sasso,  and Danny Bonaduce

I kick: Potsy from Happy Days, Rush Limbaugh, Adult Spelling Bee Contestants, The people in charge of the Geico commercials, and Danny Bonaduce

So I've decided that I should probably start working out and running more.  And by "more" I mean "any at all."  It won't be that bad, I'll just have to find time to do it.  Spend less time playing video games...I might have to wake up earlier.....I'll definitely have to cut back on my sitting around time..........So I've decided to quit running and working out.  Scheduling conflicts.

Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.

Currently Reading The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, Book 1) By J.R.R. Tolkien see related

ATTENTION:  All wise-acres, whipper-snappers, and wisenhiemers:  Do not make fun of bald people.  You WILL go bald.  Seriously, either I'm losing my hair, or I'm growing more forehead - neither of which produces a desirable result. Oh well, chicks dig bald dudes.

In other news, we saw the kid from the Sixth Sense and Second Hand Lions in the Epcot candlelight processional the other day.  They grow up so fast these days.  It was a pretty good show too.  And one of my room mates met Wayne Brady the other day.

Currently Watching Scrubs - The Complete Second Season By Zach Braff see related

By the way, Scrubs is the best show ever.  I'm watching it right now.  And typing at the same time.  Multi-tasking.  Or multi-wasting-my-time.  Depends on if you think rotting your brain in front of two backlighted screens simultaneously is a "task." 

Setting:  The Parking Lot

Cast:  Me and Rude Lady

Act I, Scene I:   Our hero (me) scours the desolate landscape for a decent place to park his vehicle.  In his moment of despair, when all hope seems lost - he finds it!  The Grail!  (Wait, scratch that.  Different quest.)  The Perfect Parking Spot!  The hero knows the spot can only belong to him because the rows are one way only.  But hark!  What be that awful noise in the distance.  Enter the villian.  The Rude Lady throws caution to the wind (and ignores all Do Not Enter signs) and drives her stupid old SUV the wrong way down the row, and I know she saw me - I know it!!  Anyways, Lady Rude speeds on down wrong way lane and backs her fat stupid car in my space.  Oh don't worry, I stared her down proper.  Yes sir, she got a good old fashioned dose of the stink eye.  Oh, and then I peeled out in front of her to show my disapproval.  Luckily, there was a better and closer spot on the second row.  Too bad Rude Lady never found out how much better I am than her.  Well here's my chance:  The Internet.  The following is a list of random female names on the off chance that Lady Rude decides to google herself in the future. 

Lisa, Lori, Jackie, Donna, Carla, Rosa, Suzie, Debbie, Bobby Sue, Lucy, Melinda, Beatrice, Helga, Olga, Jordan, Elliot, Ana, Rachel, Kate, Maggie, Midge, Shannon, Joan, Madonna, Cher, Oprah, Tyra, Ellen, Rosie O'donnel, Marge, Helen, Mrs. Robinson, J LO, Bennifer, Fran, Gloria, Edith Bunker, Delta Berk, Bea Arthur, Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith, Mary Tyler Moore, Jan, Marcia, Alice the Maid, Angelina Jolie, Bradgelina, Sarah, Evangeline, Michelle, etc.

Allright, now Rude Lady will find this site and realize her defeat.  Mission accomplished.

Hey I saw Three Dog Night the other day.  I was working so I had to pull a covert op and sneak across the park on my break.  Then I had to leave because people were asking me where stuff was and I was just pointing to vague areas until they walked off, cause I don't know where stuff is over there.  Soon enough they were gonna catch on and tar and feather me.  So I left.  But the one and half songs I saw them play were pretty awesome.  Well I think that's far more than enough.  "I'm gonna go drop some knowledge on that old weasel!"

Completed

Currently Watching Surf Ninjas By Ernie Reyes Sr., Rob Schneider see related

Note to Self:  Remember not to lock yourself out of your apartment at 2 in the morning.  You will attempt to break the door down and somehow magically wake up everyone else in your building but not any of your roommates.  End Note to Self. 

Hey, you remember that part in Surf Ninjas where Rob Schnieder does an Irish accent and threatens to beat those guys with a leg of his that no longer works.  That was awesome.

Ok, so there's these birds that apparently live close to our apartment complex and they're ginormous.  Supposedly they're some species of crane but I'm still holding to my theory that they are a result of escaped zoo creatures that are cross-breeding to create some sort of ostrich/emu/Big Bird mix.  Seriously, these things are huge.  Anyways, I was walking to the laundry room the other day and these things wer just standing in my way on the sidewalk (and for some reason these guys always travel in groups of threes so keep in mind that it was three against one)  So these things were in my way and since I grew up in an area where all of the birds were considerably smaller than me, I'm used to just walking through groups of birds and having them scurry out of my way.  Obviously these guys don't play that game.  I continued walking like they were going to move until I got about a foot and a half from them and they raised up and stretched their knecks out until they were about a foot shorter than me.  I was then faced with an important decision:  1) Stay on the sidewalk and teach these birds the lesson that they should get the fat out of the way when the superior human race is walkin through.  2) Get off the sidewalk.  Go around the gargantuan birds.  Live to fight another day.  Obviously, I chose the latter because I'm still here today. 

Winner of Round 1:  Big-Huge-Crazy-Birds

Winner of Round 2:  We'll see.  We will see...

Whoa.  That was a really long post.  Sorry.